Blue Daisy Love
by Canni-Applecrisps
Summary: Ambrose loves Cain with all of his heart – he’s devoted to the former Tin Man – but when he discovers something that could chance their relationship forever will he have the courage to tell Cain and face his fears? Ambrose/Cain !


Title: Blue Daisy Love  
Authour: Canni-Applecrisps, otherwise known as me.  
Pairing: Ambrose(Glitch)/Cain  
Rating: Probably only PG-13 due to male kissing…  
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own either of the characters in this story – if I did Tin Man would have had a lot more Cain on Glitch action…  
Summery: Ambrose loves Cain with all of his heart – he's devoted to the former Tin Man – but when he discovers something that could chance their relationship forever will he have the courage to tell Cain and face his fears?

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_He loves me._

_He loves me not._

_He will love me._

_He will love me not._

_He will always love me._

_He will always miss her._

_He promised me that he would always love me._

_He will leave me for her. Things will go back to how they were before for him - things will go back to how they_ should_ have been for him._

Ambrose was in a state of indecision, emotional turmoil, and deep self-doubt. And panic – one cannot forget the panic. Sickening, confused, and terrifying panic. Ambrose could honestly say he had not felt like this – this lost – for two years, eight months, seventeen days, twenty hours, and fifty five minutes. Give or take a few seconds, of course.

In moments of such serious panic Ambrose found that he liked to be very, very, very precise.

In point of fact, he had not felt this lost since that vile, wicked witch had been removed from Azkadellia, thus removing her from her awful reign over the O.Z. and returning Her Majesty to her rightful place. Since his brain had been put back into _its_ rightful place, back into his head, thus negating his degrading status as Glitch the Zipper-Headed Head Case. Since he and Wyatt Cain, the former Tin Man that had gotten the – very well earned in Ambrose's opinion – head security detail for Her Majesty at the palace, had become what DG had affectionately termed 'mates for the rest of their lives' (Everyone else, of course, just simply called them lovers or husbands. You could leave it to DG's creative mind to come up with something completely out of the box and unique). He had not felt like this since –

_Oh, that is quite enough of that._ Ambrose chided himself in this train of thought. That kind of thinking could go on forever – no hyperbole intended, of course – if he let it, due to the fact that he had never felt like this in his life. Never, ever before. Considering his mesh of emotions Ambrose tried to methodically find something to relate these feelings to – maybe that would help him calm down? It was like... It was like something was waiting to pull itself away from him... Like he was anticipating, with deep sadness and pain, the most important thing in his life – something he needed in order to continue on with life itself – to rip itself away from him, never to look back, leaving him to die there in a pool of his own blood and misery. Ambrose shuddered at the macabre image, but that was how he felt. It occurred to the inventor that he probably felt like that because that was, in point of fact, what he was doing. Ambrose felt like, in that instant, he was inches away from losing all of what little composure he had left.

"There you are, Head Case."

The term of endearment that he knew only his lover would use combine with those strong, familiar arms wrapping around his waist led to Ambrose releasing a large breath he hadn't known he had even been holding, "Cain."

Closing his eyes the scientist let himself sink completely into that embrace, soaking up the closeness and love he was at that moment so desperately afraid of loosing. For a moment he wondered how long he had been holding in that breath, but he couldn't rightly remember. Anyways, it had been quite long enough – his head felt light, airy and weak. His body felt wiggly and semi-unstable, like half-set Jell-o. This fingers, which had been holding – not to mention deflowering, no pun intended – a daisy-like plant, trembled visibly.

Cain, who over the past few years had become extremely sensitive towards his lover's sometimes-unstable mental and emotional state, took all this in and instinctively changed his stance. Before his embrace had just been a normal comforting, loving hug; now his arms tightened around his slightly oxygen-deprived lover, all his muscles tensing protectively as he sensed Ambrose's unease. Through rain, sleet, snow, or hail (quite like the U.S Postal Service) it never failed to amaze the scientist – how quickly Cain seemed to go from simply loving to completely, devotedly protective. But, realizing the switch, Ambrose set his mind to valiantly trying to stop the leaf-in-the-wind like trembling of his hands.

His fingers continued to tremble, giving him away. _Traitors._ He thought to himself with a glare down at the offending extremities.

"Ambrose, what happened? I doubt that it could be anything horrible enough to start torturing that poor flower, hmm...? I think one of these days you will have to come to realize that even someone as smart as you can get stuck sometimes – you expect too much from yourself. You're pushing yourself too hard." _Well, harder then normal..._ Cain mentally added to himself, resting his head lightly against Ambrose's shoulder as he considered the fact that the inventor had, indeed, been pushing himself more and more the past few months. It was a well known fact that whenever the young man got impossibly stuck or confused he was prone to small... mental breakdowns – most everyone who worked with him or knew him well referred to the these breakdowns as 'episodes'. Whenever one of these episodes occurred those who worked with the scientist would call upon Cain to help calm the young man down and set him back on the right track. As of late these episodes had been happening more and more often.

This 'episode', however, was quite different from any of the others. For one thing, some of the other inventors and scientists claimed that Ambrose had said he was finished with the new project – Cain couldn't recall his lover ever loosing it once a project was finished; if anything he was always relieved and happier. Secondly, no one had even known what this particular project was about – for some reason Ambrose had decided to keep this one in the dark from everyone. Even his closest colleagues and best friends – even from Cain himself, something that never happened. Ambrose was always talking to Cain about what he was doing, even if the former Tin Man didn't understand it – Cain always succeeded in wrapping his mind around most of it, and Ambrose could aways work his problems out; he said that talking about it aloud always helped untangle whatever needed untangling. So far as Cain could tell there was nothing to cause this breakdown; the job was done and project finished, what could be holding him up or confusing him now?

"I'm not pushing myself too hard, Cain... I promise." Ambrose said in a breeze-soft whisper that ended itself involuntarily in a helpless whimper. It made him feel so amazingly guilty, Cain being so loving and loyal - he didn't deserve someone as kind as the former Tin Man. Cain would do just about anything for him, Ambrose knew, and yet was he so weak and helpless that he could not find the courage to make Cain, the man he loved more then anything else in his life, just as happy? "E-everything is fine... Really..." It felt like he was drowning in guilt. Ambrose hung his head with another soft whimper emanating from low in his throat. Cain lifted his head from his lover's shoulder as Ambrose's gaze settled on the flower he had been holding in his hand – as though it might hold all the answers to his questions or give him some sort of release.

It actually was a very beautiful little flower, quite like a daisy all things considered. Many hundreds of beautiful thin petals that were every conceivable shade of blue from the darkest of navys to the lightest, frailest robin's egg extended from a deep golden center; a thick green stem protruded from the bottom that seemed to be _just_ big enough to hold the large flower up to catch the sun's rays. Cain could only find one fault with the lovely plant: a small portion of the beautiful blue petals had been removed, one by one, to fall neatly to the ground at Ambrose's feet. _He loves me – he loves me not._

"Do you really think that I am such a fool as to believe that 'everything is fine', Glitch?" Ambrose winced a little, shaking his head quickly. It was so very rare for anyone to call him Glitch anymore – in fact, only Raw, DG, and Cain still ever did – so when Cain used the name, and in such a serious and commanding tone, it was quite akin to a child knowing it was in was in deep terrible trouble when their parents used their middle name.

"N-no, of course not, Cain." He whispered sincerely, trying hard to blink back the tears that had begun to threaten, stinging the inside of his eyelids. "You know that. I'll never see you as a fool, or an idiot, or stupid, or-" Ambrose stopped, swallowing down his sobs and the lump that had grown. Why was it that those damn things always seemed to come along with those damned tears? That was a question he would have to answer – if he ever wanted to answer questions again after all this was over and done with.

"Glitch..." Cain sighed; he knew the inventor was trying his best to keep this one all locked inside, trying to work through it all on his own, but Cain could just tell that this one was way too big for Ambrose to take on all by himself. With one deft movement Cain turned the scientist around by the shoulders so that the brunette faced him before wrapping his arms back around the young man's waist; Ambrose's near-immediate reaction surprised the former Tin Man.

Letting the flower fall from his hands, Ambrose instead grabbed up handfuls of Cain's shirt front, burying his face into the taller man's chest and unintentionally let some of the tears he had been fighting back escape. He knew that Cain disliked showing softness out in the open – Ambrose could understand, there was always the chance some newcomer to the guard could take it as weakness and what kind of hell could that be? - but it never failed that the man would do so anyways when the inventor was having an episode or hard time. How could he even consider keeping such an important, momentous secret from his lover like this? The fact that Cain would always be there, devoted, was as solid a promise as the ground under his feet. If Cain would do anything to make him happy – and Ambrose knew that, above all else, he would – it was only far, only natural, that he would want to do the same for Cain in return. Hell, he did want to do the same for Cain, so bad that it hurt inside. Even if Cain left him for his wife, so long as Cain was happy. That's all he wanted anymore in life – for his beloved Cain to be happy...

Well, that is not _entirely_ true.

All he wanted anymore for the rest of his life was to love the most important person in his life, Cain. And loving someone came with wanting the person you love to be as happy as you could make them, no matter what. Ergo, he wanted to make Cain as happy as he could possibly make him.

Unfortunately there is quite another byproduct of wanting to love someone for the rest of your life – wanting to be close to them, able to hug them and kiss them and hold them, for the rest of your life as well.

Thus Ambrose's problem.

Was... Was he really sobbing? Ambrose found himself opening his eyes against Cain's shirt front to find that he had, in point of fact, begun to sob although he was quite unable to remember when he actually started. He couldn't remember crying this hard ever before – hard, shoulder shaking sobs that actually scared him for a moment. He couldn't tell whether Cain was scared by the sobs or not, but he was trying his best to calm Ambrose down – whispering calming promises of everything being ok and soothingly smoothing his dark, slightly wavy brunette hair.

And Ambrose just knew that he could not do it. He knew that there was no way he could live with himself he were to betray Cain's devoted love by keeping this from him. He just could not do that to Cain. With a great amount of effort the scientist took deep, calming breaths in order to quiet the close to uncontrollable sobs. "Cain, I... I have to..." Ambrose fumbled for the words past the slowly subsiding tears. "I have to tell you, but I don't want you to leave... I don't..." He shook his head, still trying to find the words to explain or start. "I don't want to be alone..." He whimpered through the slow stream of tears. "I don't want you to leave me..."

Cain stiffened slightly, trying to keep his breathing even – Ambrose was in enough of a panic and he _though_ he wanted the scientist to keep talking and any serious reaction might make the panicked man clam up – as thousands of scenarios ran their way through his head, none of them good. Most if not all of them had something to do with Ambrose cheating on him, but that was... Unthinkable. Just unthinkable. Ambrose would never, never do anything like that to him, Cain told himself. Concealing his confusion and fear at the scientist's words, Cain spoke calmly in attempt to coax the young man into explaining what was going on, "It's going to be ok, I'll still be here. Just calm down and you can tell me what happened, alright Glitch? I promise to still be here for you no matter what, and we'll work it out together, ok? Everything will be ok, Ambrose, I know it."

Another quiet whimper escaped Ambrose, though he did try to hold it back this time, and he nodded to let Cain know he had heard and understood the man's words. Snips of what the former Tin Man said immediately began wandering their way though his head in a mantra: _It's going to be ok. He'll still be here. We'll work it out together. It's going..._ Like a song stuck in his head refusing to be pushed to the background it danced in his mind, calming him slightly – at least enough for him to start gathering his words. "Cain, I think... No, I know... I know I have found a way..." He cleared his throat, trying to remove the lump that had once again become lodged there. Taking a deep breath as he dug for the courage to continue Ambrose found himself looking up into Cain's ice blue eyes for the first time throughout the whole conversation. "A way to bring her back..." He whimpered again and took up biting his lower lip, though he did not lower his gaze from the other man's cool eyes. Irrelevantly Ambrose noted to himself that he had whimpered quite a lot today. But this time he had defied a well known unspoken rule – neither of them ever mentioned Cain's late wife. It brought back too many harsh, agonizing memories – neither of them ever mentioned _her_.

_Her._ Cain stared down at Ambrose for a few moments through blank, confused eyes. _Her?_ Which 'her'? Racking his brains for some answer to all the day's oddities, Cain could only come up with one 'her' he might want to bring back. The only woman he ever missed or really thought about. His late wife. _Her._ Ambrose felt the sharp twist of his chest as all the pain and weight of Cain's terrible memories pressed down upon the former Tin Man, attempting to suppress the light that his eyes that he had just recently really started to let show again. It killed the scientist, all the pain he knew was flooding Cain in that instant in time. He hated, above all other things in this universe, the thought of anything or anyone hurting Cain – but just look at what he had done! Patiently – worriedly – he waited in agonizing silence for Cain to recompose his thoughts and emotions enough to speak again.

"How...? I... Glitch..." Cain's voice faltered although he tried to gather himself all together – his tone of voice almost sounded plaintive. Ambrose tasted something coppery and salty at the same time – blood, he supposed – as he bit down ever harder on his lip. He hated watching his lover's – well, at least for the moment the man was still his lover, the most important person in his life – face contort in anguish and confusion. "Glitch – no, Ambrose. No, Glitch. No... I just mean... How? I don't understand... Bring – her – back?" The former Tin Man slowly questioned, tasting and feeling the forms of the words as they left his mouth – something about them just... Didn't feel right. He didn't like how it felt, how it tasted, how it sounded.

"Uh, well... Yes..." Ambrose nodded, dropping Cain's shirt front so that he could instead wring his hands in nervous fear. He tried his hardest to keep eye contact, but the look inside those icy blue orbs just hurt way too much – instead he let his gaze fall to where his hands trembled, twisting like dust devils around each other. With a small shrug he gave a short, depressed sounding sigh. "There is a way to collect the DNA... It would pretty much be a clone of her. It would be her once again, Cain. We could try to copy her past memories so that she would be exactly the same – just the way it could have been – should have been – for you. Almost like DG's nurture drone parents – Ah! No, that's not what I meant... I mean... It would be your family back, Cain... You, your son, your wife. Life all back to normal – the normal before Azkadellia sent Zero to ruin your family..."

Cain had begun to rub his temples, closing his eyes as he tried to digest and understand everything that Ambrose had just told him. Without the blue-eyed man's arms encircling his waist the scientist took a quick step back, wrapping his arms around himself in a hug meant to keep himself together. He had suddenly grown amazingly cold – very alone; the brooding silence was oppressive and alienating. It came to Ambrose's attention that whatever he had felt inside before Cain had arrived – the terrible sense of confusion and horrible loss – was nothing at all compared to what he was feeling now. The sensation that had filled him before had magnified at least one hundred fold. For the very first time ever the scientist felt that he would rather die then press onward.

No, not die he supposed – forget. Maybe just have half of his brain removed again and just forget everything that had happened the past two and two thirds years. Maybe, if Cain – no, it wasn't _if_ Cain, it was _when_ Cain – left him he would do that... It sounded easier, better... Comforting. He could just go in and have his mind – his memories of everything he wanted to forget – removed again. But then what...? Would he have anyplace to go afterwards? Would he have anyone to go to if he did that? Would he have any –

"Ambrose..." The quivering brunette jumped slightly, startled from his self-destructive thoughts. Cain's voice was actually amazingly calm and level when one considered the circumstances. "Ambrose, why?"

"Umm... Why?" Ambrose shook his head a little, still not daring to look up and meet the other man's gaze – he didn't want to see what was in the other man's eyes yet; didn't want to see what was going on inside those ice blue orbs. "'Why' what?"

Cain, although his voice was remaining relatively calm, really was not doing any better with this whole situation then Ambrose, but some conditioned training was allowing him to hide most of it – though his face, more to the point his eyes, did betray him horridly – unlike the scientist that stood before him trembling almost as though he was terrified... Inside, just under this calm facade, he felt like he was falling apart. His body was as liquid as soup but as hard as quick-setting cement at the exact same time; everything he had believed and held true the past years – everything that had been keeping him in one piece – seemed to have just been blown away. All the promises and knowledge he relied upon, the proverbial ground beneath his feet, had been torn away – just _stripped_ from him – so that he felt he was floating in a very unkind and scarily hostile inky-black void that threatened to swallow him whole. "Why? What would you bring her back? Why would you _want_ to bring her back? Glitch... _My_ Glitch... _Why?_"

The possessiveness made Cain feel just a touch better. _His_ Glitch – no one else's. Not Ambrose, not Head Case, not Zipper Head, nothing else. Never any of those useless nicknames or any other odd name – new or old – again. Just Glitch. His Glitch. At least... For now... No, don't even begin to think about that, He viscously warned himself. But... What if...? What if Ambrose had done this in an effort to get rid of him...? As an excuse to... to leave...?

Ambrose gave a flinch; he could very clearly hear the undercurrents of doubt and sadness – could hear the forced quality to Cain's calm, cool tone – and the despairing knowledge that he was the direct cause of this cut at him deeply. "Why would I want to bring her back? Cain, I just want for you to be happy. I love you so much, it's what I want most in life, your happiness... I know that you miss her a lot, there's no way to hide that; I can tell that you think about her sometimes. You get so sad... I just want you to be as happy as humanly possible. If... If that requires that you and your wife get back together, then... Oh gods, Cain, I don't want you to leave me, but I couldn't live with myself if I didn't tell you. It would not have been right, don't you see? I mean..." Ambrose trailed off once he realized that he had been rambling on for a little while now, but he unintentionally managed to whisper under his breath all the same, "Please, Cain, I beg you... Don't leave me..."

Unbelieving and silent, Cain shook his head and sat down atop the grassy hill he had found Ambrose standing on. It hurt to think – everything that had happened so far had managed to trigger a fairly amazing migraine – but he tried his best to process everything the scientist had just tired to explain to him. Tentatively, carefully, Ambrose sat down on the soft grass as well about a foot or so away in order to give the turmoiled Tin Man some room to think, though he truly wanted nothing more then to just hold the blonde in his arms and comfort him through this.

After a few long moments of the haunting silence Cain once again spoke up, giving a very heavy sigh. "Glitch, do you... Do you want me to leave, then? Because... If you don't want me to be around you anymore... Please, just be truthful and tell me." Cain swallowed hard, his composure beginning to crumble from the pressure and many new levels of pain. "There is no need to bring my wife back to me as a companion if you really want to leave. At that point... At that point I would just much rather be alone, I should think..."

Ambrose's eyes widened hugely as Cain made to push himself up and leave, "N-no! No, Wyatt, no, no, no!" Quickly the inventor scampered his way towards his lover, acting oddly indeed when he crawled into the former Tin Man's lap, resting his head with little caution against the man's warm chest and once again grabbing handfuls of his shirt. With Ambrose taking up his lap there was no way Cain could continue to rise. "You misinterpret, Cain, you misinterpret! I just want you happy... I don't want to leave you for anything, and I don't ever want you to have to be alone..." Ambrose reached up, softly resting his hand against Cain's cheek – with a sharp, deep breath the former Tin Man closed his eyes and covered the scientist's hand with his own, gently squeezing the brunette's warm fingers and releasing the breath in shuddering relief.

"I... I do miss her, Glitch, there is no doubt about that at all. I will always miss her. But that is the nature of loving someone – whenever they leave, whether it be just for a small vacation or something permanent like death, you miss them. If I were to just forget about her-"

"I wouldn't hear of it." Ambrose cut in quietly. "Everyone deserves to have someone remember them – to have someone miss them."

Cain gave a soft smile, opening his eyes once again. "Thank you..." He whispered, drawing another deep, truly calming breath. "I have to remember her, but I also have to move on... If I hadn't found a way to move on I'd be stuck in a rut... Bringing her back isn't what I want, Glitch. It wouldn't do anyone any good. I've got you now – my future, how I've moved on and grown... Don't make me leave you for her... Let her rest in peace... It's what she deserves, more then someone just remembering her. And I know that she would be happy that I had found someone again... I am very happy, Glitch. I'm with you, and that's all I need."

Glitch allowed himself a small, fleeting smile in reply to Cain's before a more pressing question bubbled up past his lips unbidden, "So you are not going to leave me, then...?"

Shaking his head Cain bent down and tenderly caught the brunette's lips with his own. Ambrose felt calmness flowing through him for the first time in the past few months, and he easily wrapped his arms around Cain's neck as his lips parted, kissing his lover back. In the same token Cain felt the solidness of sanity returning to him – the ground of safety and knowledge forming again underneath his feet – and as he momentarily pulled away from the brunette to breathe he brushed a few stray strands of hair lovingly from his pale face. "No, I am not going to leave you..." He whispered against Ambrose's soft lips, and the scientist shivered pleasurably at the feeling.

_He loves me._

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AN: Please let me know what you think! I still have no beta reader, so please kindly let me know if you find any mistakes! Also, I am kind of looking for a new title for this - Blue Daisy Love just doesn't seem to fit in my eyes - so if you have got any ideas I would love to hear them! Thank you much for reading!!


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